Monday, June 22, 2009

Not age exactly, but something

I am nearing an end. I know that when it comes, I will be full of relief, exhales, and sleepiness. One more week to go, but so much between now and the end. I try not to think about it, or I get overwhelmed.

I am expectant. There is so much I long to do and no time readily available. It will be like this from now on, won't it? Is this the adulthood era? :) I'm unaccustomed. Textbooks are replaced by checkbooks. Homework replaced with yard work. All nighters replaced by 10 o'clock bedtimes. I feel different.

Some people say they don't feel age. Each birthday celebrated feels relatively like the last. I wouldn't say I feel age, necessarily, but I feel something. Some difference, something that makes exertion without sufficient sleep much more taxing than it used to.

I love where I am right now. I wish this 25-year-old time could stay for two years instead of one. And not because I don't want to get older, just because things are finally starting to fall into a pattern- a rhythm. There was the college rhythm. And now there is this. I'm tired, but it's beginning to settle.

2 comments:

Jason Pestell said...

Such a different rhythme awaits me, and I look forward to how I will be changed in order to dance to that rhythme, to be in a place where independence and dependence are shifting uniquely in my life so that their role in my choices and actions becomes different but requires of me the same: true freedom requires dependence, requires relationship, exludes fear, abides in the present where we touch eternity.

Matt said...

"There is so much I long to do and no time readily available. It will be like this from now on, won't it? Is this the adulthood era? :)"

This may have been rhetorical, but to reassure you, no, it won't be. Not unless you allow it to be, that is. Follow your heart and put these things you long to do into action. It's doable. :D