unapparently so: france

Showing posts with label france. Show all posts

Monday, April 7, 2014

Sometimes, you just have to be brave and let people see your mind for a moment even if it's not what they might expect or want. Even when you know how it sounds or that it might not do any good for understanding anything better. And maybe you'll never really be able to measure whether it did anything at all, but being truthful for your own sake is still meaningful and good.

Sometimes, you just have to be a little bit brave.

hermonville, france

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Tonight, we walked together all the way up into the highlands. It was lovely even though I got a little dizzy walking in the darkness for so long. Our footsteps traversed uneven sidewalks where tree roots had pushed up to find space and new light. The strength of roots amaze me.

What are your goals for the next five years? They don't have to be cemented goals. They can just be ideas. Swinging both arms back and forth, eyes taking in each house and yard and driveway as we passed by, he told me his and I told him mine.

A peacock called from one street over. The lamppost's dull halo hung midair, dust and moths moving in and out of the light. And I wondered what pictures might make up these coming years together.

life picture boxes (reims, france)

Thursday, November 28, 2013

It's days like these in the latter half of November, that I think of the things that I never used to know, but now do. And I feel a mixture of nostalgia and newness in a sweet little ceramic bowl of thoughts for tasting.

Though it's beautifully cold outside, my heart is warm with community. With sharing stories and sharing ourselves with each other. A little less distance between, a little more alive inside of us.

I had a friend over and it grew dark, and we turned the heater up, and pulled blankets up close, and we watched a favorite film of mine. And these lines struck me in the loveliest way...

"I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me, but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but... who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt." - Before Sunrise

And in case you had any doubt for any reason at all, I am thankful for you.

iphone, pudding cam | gratitudinous
© kimberly k. taylor-pestell, all rights reserved

Monday, November 18, 2013

A recent milestone birthday brought on an unexpected wave of reflection, introspection and an onslaught of thought bubbles with long, winding trains. Words and ink and blank pages are good for this type of thing. I need to stop reconfiguring and let thoughts be as they are as they are as they are.

The milestone is an interesting concept. What makes it more pronounced than the other years, anyway? Perhaps it's like a emboldened chapter title in a fancy little font so that you remember where you are in relation to the grand scheme of pages before and after.

A pause might be appropriate for relocating parts of moments and conversations, to piece them together to see them more clearly so that they don't go missing before I've learned what I need to learn from them.

Ten years is a long time to remember, friends, let alone a lifetime. So, I'll only try to remember the last ten years for now. I don't want a life of blurred memories if I can help it. So, I'll try to hold on to even the dark ones because they mean something, too. Maybe even more sometimes.

In the last ten years, I have learned...

...how to be okay

...that people have different definitions of the role of "friend," and maybe that's part of the beauty of finding what you'd call a "true" one

...that wearing polka dots has a high probability of elevating your overall countenance

...how to kiss

...that small successes are oftentimes more important than the ones everyone else tells you are most important

...where to go for the best chai tea latte in the whole wide world

...that a beloved childhood long-lost cousin was alive and well all these years, and that he is a kindred spirit for writing the most wonderful letters

...that I'm not stupid

...that going from no bangs to with bangs can change your life, and I should never ever ever-ever-ever go back

...that I can identify myself as an artist, and it can be true

...that making new friends who haven't known me since forever can be liberating because they won't naturally pigeon-hole you the same way

...that I can love far more deeply than I can hate, and it feels like a relief to know

...how much intentional thoughtfulness it takes to create a wedding day that is about community instead of individuals, and how many traditional rules need to be broken for authenticity's sake

...that I overuse the words "true," "quite," "lovely," and "wonder," and probably have too many commas in most of my sentence-strings

...how many of the beliefs I held growing up have been altered to something hopefully more loving, less judgmental, and therefore, more accurate if I really get the whole point of it at all

and,

...that every day is actually worth paying attention to (especially when it's cold out)

iphone | francine narnia - Île Saint-Louis

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Last night, I fell asleep to comforting rainfall. Strings of raindrops traveling in lines down window panes and making a gentle barrier between.

I woke at 5:15 a.m. and could not find sleep again and it has made for a lovely morning. With crisp, cold air beckoning me to meet autumn outside for some quality time, I bid my little Nadia-cat goodbye and went for a drive.

Sometimes, I forget how quiet and still early morning can be. You see people out on the streets who you never see because they're already gone by the time you venture out for the day. An entirely different set of people who rise early, make the first footprints in the dewy grass, and witness the start to the days we share together, apart.

Perhaps I would like making friends with the morning.

impossible film | quiet (versailles, france)