Umpteenth

Perhaps it's the new year and re-evaluation is timely.

I feel odd: A very non-descript, yet very real unease is permeating my stomach... or maybe higher - somewhere near my diaphragm. I feel a little sick.

I know what I feel and how I love and how I need. But I have yet to be convinced I am felt, loved, and needed in the same manner and at the same level of necessity that I seem to experience. And it reminds me of everything I thought back when it all began and I just want to go to sleep and forget.


Braid braid braid
Strands of color, intertwined
Fade fade fade
No more pattern, left unlaced

Face the proofs and take your leave
End the story that should not be
Save yourself and do it soon
Trust not what I may construe

Braid braid braid
Strands of color, intertwined
Fade fade fade
No more pattern, left unlaced


I'm not sure anymore. Perhaps some silence of my own.