Sunday, February 9, 2014

For the last hour, I have been sitting in quiet, sharing a sofa with my husband and my calico tabby. And we have sat side by side working separately, together. Jason, on his lesson planning. Nadia, on a purr-song and then a nap. And me, on relaxing for the first time in an prolonged string of days.

I took up volume 8 of Kinfolk, an issue I hadn't yet a spare breath to take in. So, I drew up a moment, opened its pages, and found so much calm and light and inspiration. Within its pages are so many words that I adore. Ichi-go ichi-e ("one life, one meeting/party/gathering/chance"). Shakkei ("borrowed scenery"). Bramble and bounty and memory and pebbles and blur.

I am grateful for artists I will never have the honor of meeting. For the delight they gift to me and others in the world simply by existing in a true, honest way and being brave enough to share themselves.

I am searching for balance without losing myself, and contrastingly, without focusing on myself so much that I lose compassion, perspective and the awareness that there are others in need of my time, affection, ear.

Being overextended can alter who you are. It can make you resort to less instead of more because the mere idea of "more" or "better" or "best" feels overwhelming. It can cause integrity to fade in the face of the opportunity to rest, to be, to stop, to retreat. And, integrity ought never to fade because it is what makes what I do matter.

I want to grow into my thirties, learning how to succeed in dreaming and becoming more and more authentic and warm. And maybe, if I can manage this, I can continue to move until the various things around me tether together to make the truest home I can know.

iphone  | ichi-go, ichi-e
© kimberly k. taylor-pestell, all rights reserved


Bryan Schnebelt said...

When we add too much and are consumed with overwhelming ourselves, we do tend to become lost. It drains us of excelling and limits our potential. I feel I have known that all too well at times.

Your intentions to live authentically are what make me appreciate and admire you. As the world becomes faster and more technologically driven, it is more important than ever to take time for the things that matter most. How we give our time to others speaks volumes. I hope I can live authentically as well. True friends see the potential in us that we sometimes have a hard time seeing. I hope I can provide you with the encouragement that you so often give me.

Kimberly said...

Oh, Bryan. You have been one of my most steadfast sources of encouragement since the day we met. There is no need to ever question whether you provide encouragement to me. You ARE encouragement. Just by being genuinely you. Thank you for leading by example, an authentic life.