find its end

I am trying (oh so) not to fall off the line.  I am waiting to act and scared for when I must, while also wanting nothing more than for it to be over and done.  Eyelids are heavier than other days and lighter than some and I would do well to find a way through the mess I created and erase the chalk to start afresh.  I am trying, but everything just takes longly and waiting is required.  Waiting and acting, waiting and acting is the drone and I don't like its hypnotizing angst. Now it is only 10 minutes until my acting and this is the one of which I am most wary and makes my heart quake in my chest a bit and my left eye twitch for a split second and then fall still in somberness.  This is the one that cannot be trusted, but must be hoped.  And I am afraid that waiting will follow.

Let it find its end so I may be on my way.

{photograph taken by b. a. s. ~ august 2010}