Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Sometimes, this is how the world is to me

My head is hurting in a dull, devious, conniving sort of way... as if it is trying to fool me into thinking I can run around and be at my usual level when that really isn't true.  Meanwhile, my hair is hanging limply (again) and it is driving me wild.  I need to put it out of its misery and cut it or at least ponytail it.  No reason to suffer needlessly, I say.

{Polaroid: Sometimes, this is how the world is to me}
© kimberly k taylor 2009

I need to sleep more.  Why is that so difficult?  Insomnia has no pattern that I can find.  It creeps in and does its little thing- sometimes, and sometimes not.  On some occasions, it comes in the form of restlessness and my mind won't shut off and I toss and turn and all the motion (both mental and physical) makes me feel entirely too alert.  Other times, it lulls me into false hope as I quickly meet my friend, REM, only to wake up three hours before the alarm and groan when sleep proves irreclaimable.  Still other times, it draws me in and out of dreamland with its colorful, tangible(at-the-time), crazy dreams that exhaust me with their intensity and subject and deter peace.  I need to sleep more.

Maybe I need to give myself more of a chance and stop reading in bed to allow for more open hours.  I have been captivated by The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger) and every night when I climb into bed, I pick up where I left off and proceed to lose all track of time (how ironic).  The writing is true, raw, like real, then-and-now-and-someday, life.  The characters are wonderful and pungent at times, dry and empty at others.  They impress you and disappoint you.  You admire them and have affection for them, but then you wonder if you'd want to be their friend in real life.  She writes beauty and grit and conflict and pure emotion and intensity.  Nothing is sugar coated, not even love.  I am most impressed at how she masters such blunt realism and stark out-in-the-openness in a book about a man who time travels.  Reality and striking unreality.  She must be brilliant.

Wish me luck on the sleep cycle.


polkadotpeony said...

awwww I'm sorry about you sleep woes. I'll pray it gets better.

I am so glad that you have such awesome things to say about "The Time Travelers Wife" I have been thinking of picking it up, but uncertain if it would actually be good. Know I know I'll like it. :)

-Kimberly L.