free write

Engagements are so concentrated on this specific time period: the span of this year. Each one brings joy. Each one wears on me.

It is sorrowful to wait for something you want so deeply and seems so tangible, while others all around have found it. Misplaced jealousy is very brief and temporary, but a weariness lingers and seeps.

I am thankful for what we are learning, he and I. All this long while, there has been much importance. I am well aware of the need- the necessity. However, I am a girl who longs to be in the same home, even the same city, even the same county, as her Love. And that longing doesn't blur. It does not wane; it grows.

tis steady, tis strong
rhythmic pounding
little heart of mine
making such sound
hush, it's not your turn
beats are singing to the skies
before the morning light has come
to bring the bedtime dream to Day
and sail unmoving clouds away

ambient music melodies
playing in the nearby halls
rings of love found clear and strong
breaking free from outside perches
roaming out for all to see
crying out for all to join
linked together as in charms

my morn drapes with crusted eyes
trying hard to make things out
squinting so for clarity
all there is comes hazily
simple thoughts, simple words
string to form distasteful lines
and i'm ashamed to call them true
to sigh instead of cry with joy
at others' classic coming light

patience: an uneasy feat
tics and tocs will discard hope
carry me off on tangent streams
where focus strays from right to night
let me wait with happy lips
let me sing with honesty
willing to find goodness where

there is good
and good is there