Unutterable, Ineffable, or Distinctive Name

Upon writing a letter to my Lord, I struggled.

I struggled with the knowledge that I do not have a reverence for Him. How easily I forget Him; how quickly do I choose something or someone else. I prayed for the desire- a yearning- of who He is and how I can honor Him. I prayed for a hunger for understanding. I prayed for a thirst for worshipping my Lord in order to in some meager way, bless His beautiful name. I prayed to be taught righteousness and repentance. I prayed to be taught true love and sacrifice, but then stopped mid-sentence, afraid of becoming Job. "Be careful what You pray for," playing in my head. How selfish I am. How distorted my priorities. I told Him about that fear, I told Him I didn't understand authentic abandonment of self to Him and His kingdom.

And I felt probed to look up His name, Yahweh. And I was humbled.

"... Observant Jews do not say this name aloud. It is believed to be too sacred to be uttered and is often referred to as the Ineffable Name, the Unutterable Name, or the Distinctive Name. They often use circumlocutions when referring to the name of the Deity, e.g., HaShem ("The Name") or Shem HaMeforash ("The Ineffable Name") when reading the Tanakh aloud because the Name of God must not be spoken... "Adonai" is spoken only in prayer, and YHVH is only written on paper that will not be thrown away or discarded. Adding vowels to the Name of the Lord is an insult to some Jews because the point is that it cannot be spoken because it is God's Name (to be). Even in English, the vowel in God (G-d) is take out in some cases to show extreme reverence..." - Wikipedia

"YHVH" is written on my left hand. I pray it will serve as a reminder of the reverance He deserves.