Wednesday, June 20, 2007

holding them back

i sit and look out a wide window. the wind is evident and only seen as it rusteles through crowns of green that never seem to have any concept of time. and as has become accustomed, i look out to see if him. every peripheral motion catches my eye and prompts me to look up with a smile. but he is not there. and he will not be walking by with smiles to offer, chin raised and with that familiar gate to his step.

nothing detains me for long. nothing holds my attention at bay and allows me some solace from wishes. everything is different here. everything is different now. and yet everything is the same here, only with less. less life, less beauty, less joy. i often forget to look for joy because the giver who has filled my heart with such joy is not here. and he will not be here. maybe ever again.

and my world seems a bit more dim and a bit colder though the air all around me is almost too warm.


Jason Pestell said...

Seek the true Giver of Joy, and know that the giver is only a gift. Also know that that giver will be there again. Never is too long a duration for him to go without serving you in love in the place that you call Home.