today, i'm thinking about childhood

i remember when time wasn't an issue.  at least, i think i remember when.

it is drizzling outside and watching the feathery water make television snow through the air makes me sleepy and want to be a little girl again.

i miss waking up to (any)thing and (any)time.  there were a lot of "any"s.  spending the day playing instead of doing schoolwork (we were home-schooled and the devious sort of children).  playing "Little Umbrella Boutique" and trying not to make any noise as we wrote up receipts, swiped expired credit cards through our make-shift machines, and hand-drew or collage-d catalogs and order forms and coupons.  we couldn't afford to make too much noise because surely then, mommy's voice would come from the other room saying, "girls? are you doing your school work?" sometimes when this happened, we'd just put one finger over our lips and look at each other thinking, "maybe if we stay quiet and don't answer, she'll forget she asked."  sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.  i miss pretending like that, not caring about responsibility and having fun in that uninhibited way.

i miss making bagel pizzas for lunch and fighting over who got two if we were running low on mozzarella.  running outside to find company in Midnight (our beloved cat), work on musicals (including one about nuns who run away from a convent while it's raining), roller skate pretending we were ice skating in the Olympics, and have adventures in the backyard that turned into a tropical, uncivilized island.

childhood wasn't perfect.  (far from it)  but i miss that special version of sisterhood.